You drive a hard bargain

Time for Installment #2 of my Helpful Hints for Living Alone series!  Today's topic:

How to buy something via Craigslist

(without ending up as a victim in a Lifetime Movie)

I'm assuming that everyone has heard of www.craigslist.org, but just in case, it is basically an online yard sale. It's pretty great, especially since it doesn't require getting up at 6AM on a Saturday. People like my aunt and my sisters have had amazing luck finding furniture, cars, and even jobs there.

So far, I have not been quite as skilled at finding those steals (mine have been from thrift stores/generous friends & family), but I think I've finally figured out the method behind the madness. Here ya go:

Step 1: Decide what you need
There are approximately 18,000,000 new posts on CL every day. You need to narrow it down and at least pick a category: furniture, sporting goods, cars, etc. If you know exactly what you want, you can even search within the category for the exact item.  For example, this is what came up when I entered "dining table":



It only has TWO "n"s, people. TWO. And they're not next to each other.
 But I digress.

Step 2: Weed out the junk posts
As wonderful and legitimate as most posts may be, there are also plenty that are spam or furniture dealers who are just using CL as free advertising. My suggestion is to either select the "For Sale By Owner" option at the top of the page or scroll past any post which looks remotely like these:


Clearly this person never took a typing class. Their WPM score must be horrendous.

Or these:


This is not a PowerPoint, you do not need ClipArt.
 

Orrrr these:


Stop looking yelling at me, swan!

Step 3: Get distracted by the number of heinous spelling errors
You were warned when I told you my nickname was Webster. I love words and may or may not cry a little inside when I see misspellings in public places or official documents. So basically Craigslist is like a scary movie for me: it's terrifying, yet I just can't look away. I do have to award points for creativity, though. It's amazing how many ways people can spell a word incorrectly:


To be fair, armoire is French... and we all know how they love to throw in extra letters just for kicks,
so I can understand this one to a certain extent.
 

This, however. No. Just.... no.
See also: "dinning room"

Sigh.

Step 4: Forget what you were looking for, spend the next hour trying to find the craziest thing on CL just for laughs
I would suggest you check the "Free" section for this particular mission. People really take the "my trash is your treasure" concept seriously on here.

So much to say, sooo little time.

Sometimes the Antiques section also has a few gems, like this guy:

The most disturbing thing about this is perhaps the fact
that there is actually a place called Buffalo Gap, VA.

Step 5: Give up and find the nearest Goodwill
Kidding, kidding! If you do find something on CL and email/call the seller, PLEASE try to either meet in a neutral location or take someone with you to pick up whatever you buy.

It may be more convenient to have them deliver, but do you really want some stranger knowing where you live? No. Is this probably paranoid? Yes. But there are some crazies out there, so just use your best judgement. 
 

Source

So what about you? Any other advice for potential Craigslist buyers?

On My Owwwn

As I'm sure you all have garnered, I've never lived alone before. And for the most part, I LOVE IT.  It does, however, present some challenging moments. So I am starting a "Helpful Hints for Living Alone" series for those of you who may be living alone for the fisrt time as well! (You're welcome.)

It's sure to be filled with tips, tricks, and advice about lots of things most normal people already know or would have figured out without any trouble... unless you're like me and are a bit behind the curve.


For everyone's safety, this series will NOT include cooking tips.

Part 1: HOW TO KILL A BUG

 

There are actually several methods I'd like to share with you today, based on three recent scientific trials I've conducted.  Just FYI, the unwritten Step #1 in all of these is, of course: PANIC Stay calm

As one does.
Source

Method #1: D.I.D (Damsel in Distress)

1: Stand on nearest item of furniture because, ya know, spiders can't climb or anything

2: Apologize to Susan B. Anthony, Gloria Steinem, and all the other feminists who fought to prove that women are just as strong as men...

3: Frantically Shamelessly text a male friend/neighbor to get up here and kill the spider

4: Try not to gag when he squishes it with his bare hand
5: Thank him with a cookie.

And some hand sanitizer.
Source

 

Method #2: O.C.D. (Obsessively Clean Disposal)

1: Shout "SPIDER!" & freeze, pointing at the intruder until Chris drops what he's doing

2: Toss him a shoe (preferably a non-favorite) to squash the disgusting thing

3: Watch, dumbfounded, as he painstakingly takes another shoe, scoops the spider onto the first shoe, and then carries the whole thing over to the sink and disposes of the spider with far more dignity than it deserved

4: Laugh at Appreciate just how far Chris will go to avoid getting spider guts on the rug

Love him. Mean it.
Source

Method #3: D.O.D. (Do or Die)

1: See a giant bug with no fewer than 80,000 legs chilling 2 feet from your head

2: Determine that 11 pm is perhaps too late to execute Methods 1 or 2

3: Gather your wits, grab a shoe, and smash the hell out of it

4: Congratulate yourself for a solid 5 minutes

5: Now try to figure out how to get 3.5 inches of bug guts off your wall.

Stick with me folks-- clearly we're gonna make it after all!

 Source

 

So there you go! If you're looking for organic, home-made, stored in a Mason jar pesticides... go to Pinterest and have at it. Otherwise, just be sure to have lots of readily accessible male friends & shoes, and you'll be good to go.

Just make sure they're not friends who say crap like this.

Also, suggestions for future installments of the How To series are welcome!

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life...

Ok, I promise I'm going to get better about blogging. Refer to my Lisa Frank post of last year if you think me taking breaks is an unusual occurrence. It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry.  But guess what?

I MOVED TO RICHMOND!
(Insert obligatory "Finally!" comment here)
:)

Now for all of the questions I know you're wondering:
1. Why?
2. When?
3. What's your job situation?
4. What does your place look like?
5. How do you like it so far?

1. WHY?
I have always wanted to live in a city. And, thanks to a certain long-distance relationship, I've gotten to know the city of Richmond very well over the past few years and have a lot of friends here. Having my wonderfully supportive friends and bf down here definitely made this big life change seem less scary and more appealing.  Plus, my job in Northern VA was winding down at the end of the summer and I decided that it was time for a change-- new scenery, new adventures, new job opportunities.  BOOM. Let's do dis.

2. WHEN?
I started seriously looking for places in the beginning of July, found one I loved at the end of July, got approved August 8th, and moved in August 19th!  Whew! Don't worry, I was calm and collected about the entire process...


Cooool as a cucumber, as per usual.

3. WHAT'S THE JOB SITUATION?
Funny story, actually. I moved without a job prospect or definite plan to secure a stable means of income... WHO AM I?!? 

Basically, my goal was to move, find a job down here, wrap up the last week of my job in Northern VA and live happily ever after. That would make a very short and boring blog post. Don't worry, that's not what happened!

I got down here, applied for jobs, went on one rather distastrous interview (another story for another day), and kept telecommuting to my current job. They've extended me well past my original end-date, and I am happy to keep doing it as long as they have work for me.  I'm still actively searching for Richmond jobs, since I know the NoVA one won't last forever... so if you know of anything let me know!  But for the moment, I am still gainfully employed. Whew!

4.  WHAT DOES YOUR PLACE LOOK LIKE?
It's awesome. It's a 1 bedroom (with plenty of room for air mattresses for visitors... HINT), downtown. Yes, I live alone. Yes, it can be terrifying.


Nerves of steel.

This is my crib:


Top left: Living room, as seen from standing on my kitchen counter. 
Top right: also LR, as seen from my foyer.
Bottom left: fireplace and dining room (there's also a tiny built-in desk next to the table that got cut out).
Bottom Right: The BEST CLOSET EVER.

I promise, there are actual decorations around the place and my closet looks a little less atrocious now, but these are the pictures I had handy. (Don't worry, I also have a kitchen, bathroom and bedroom... but they're pretty standard)

5. HOW DO YOU LIKE IT SO FAR?
I LOVE it. Because I get to spend time with awesome people and do fun stuff like this:

Yes folks, Richmond starts their Oktoberfest in September. I'm gonna like it here.
Also, our favorite bars include an Irish pub and a joint called Bandito's... so I'm expanding my cultural horizons too. Bonus!

And I get to be near this guy without weeks of planning in advance:

Sorry... too lovey-dovey? My b.
But it's awesome.

And, it's relatively close to this:

Train station, holla!

...which makes it easy to go back and visit this:

aka the greatest family ever, who I miss a lot.
Especially Bella, even though she refused to let me kidnap her in my backpack. Rude.

So that's been my life for the past two months. Hope that explains why I've been AWOL lately! Soo yeah. When are you coming to visit?? :)

Weeee are the Champioooons...

I adore the Olympic Games, both Winter and Summer versions. 

Earlier I was trying to think about which is my favorite. Each is an awesome TV marathon full of people displaying national pride and superb athleticism, so choosing between the two is like asking my mom to pick her favorite child (it's totally me, by the way. But if my sisters are reading this... it's definitely one of you!).

So which is truly the greatest Olympiad? To settle things once and for all, I scored each Olympics on several completely arbitrary criteria which I just made up. Feel free to insert your own answers and let me know your findings.

1. Best Opening Ceremonies
Summer:

I'm concerned that Mr. Bean was the most significant part
 of  this multi-million dollar (pound?) extravaganza...
Source

Winter:

A snowboarder jumping through Olymic ring ice sculptures, which may or may not be exploding.
Yeaaaah. This one has my vote.
Source

Score: Summer- 0, Winter- 1


2. Most Dramatic Controversies

Summer:

Twitter controversies galore... yawn.
(source: Twitter)

Winter:

GASP! This story is still captivating, despite the fact that it happened before most current Olympians were born.
Source

Score: Summer- 0 , Winter- 2


3. Best Wheaties Box
Summer:

The star of "Keeping up with the Kardashians" apparently
had a day job prior to his catapult to reality tv fame
Source

                                                                                                        Winter: 

Sorry, bub. No one tops Bruce Kardashian Jenner. Especially gingers.
Source

Score: Summer- 1 , Winter- 2

4. Are there sports I'd actually want to play?
(Assuming I had elite athletic capabilities, of course).

Summer:

Only like, all of them.
Not pictured: soccer, indoor volleyball, table tennis, gymnastics
(And yes, I'd be the tall one in this scenario.)

Winter:

Do all winter sports have to take place in extremely cold conditions? Yes?
In that case, I'll go with Curling because it's indoors. Annnd that's about it...

Score: Summer- 2  , Winter- 2

TIE-BREAKER ROUND

5. Asthetic Appeal of Uniforms

 Summer:                                                                                Winter:

Case. Closed.

Score: Summer- 98327401741, Winter- 2

Hope everyone is enjoying the Games! :)

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

Oh hi there... despite the lack of evidence to the contrary, I am in fact still alive and well.

Call off that Amber Alert, guys.
Original Image

Can I just make a huge apology for disappearing for the last several months?





I'm rusty, ok? Gimme a break.



Ok, that was a terrible pun. Seriously, I am so sorry to have abandoned you few but faithful followers. Allow me to briefly explain:

Life has been a whirlwind with work, big upcoming transitions, and trying to juggle a million things while staying relatively healthy.

Something had to go on the back burner, sadly my attempts to convince my boss that this blog was way more important than data analysis or writing journal articles fell on deaf ears. Rude.

Please forgive me and come back soon-- I remember how awesome it is to write (for fun, that is-- articles, cover letters and resumes, this does NOT apply to you jerks) and I promise not to fall off the face of the earth again.

There will be some long-winded excellent tales of adventure coming your way soon, I promise!

Feel free to say that in a British accent.



Let's Get Physical

Is anyone else's Facebook newsfeed completely overrun by gym rats and/or marathoners?  It feels like every time I log in there are about twelve status updates from weirdos friends who just finished running the entire Appalachain trail as their warm-up or something. What's the deali-o?

Now, let me just clarify: I am borderline Crazy Soccer Mom proud of all these people.  My friends are accomplishing amazing feats and taking care of themselves at the same time, which is AWESOME!


Por ejemplo, my boyfriend Usain Bolt Chris finishing a 10k. Yayyy!

It's just... at times it can be really hard to handle the constant inundation of these posts without feeling like a total waste of space.... especially if your own "rigorous cardio regime" consists mainly of rushing to get ready in the morning or having a minor heart attack after receiving a scary email from the boss. You get the idea.

FACT: You burn 27 calories for every 30 minutes sleeping.
Soooo by my calculations, I should weigh approximately... 45 pounds? Ish?

Well friends, that's about where things are right now. I'd love to be healthy and active again, but bridging the gap between where one is and where one wants to be can seem pretty daunting at times. It's frustrating because my body & brain are awesome at making excuses, yet the former athlete in me won't stop yelling at the rest of me to just MOVE IT already.

Just like Jillian Michaels... Intimidation is a powerful motivator.

The question is... how? Changing habits and/or achieving new goals can be really tough. This is especially true for people like me who tend to tackle huge tasks all at once instead of taking small, logical steps to accomplish something.

My motto in college was "rough drafts are for sissies."
Because they are.
Source

I know, I know... I can already tell what you're going to say:

"Baby steps."

"Rome wasn't built in a day."

"The first step is the hardest."

"You have the physique of a Greek goddess and don't need to work out, ever."

oh... not that last one? Whoops. So sorry, carry on.
Source

Well, I'm going to take your advice and get moving. First up: changing my goal-setting style-- with a positive spin, of course!

My new, positive goal is to work out for at least 10 minutes every day. Ten minutes? That's basically three Glee songs... totally doable. Granted, this pace won't get me on a Wheaties box any time soon, but it seems way less scary than setting a bigger goal with a doomsday countdown like: "100 DAYS UNTIL YOU RUN A 5K OR ELSE."

Sooo feel free to join me on this journey to self-improvement. Even if you're one of those physically fit people, this positive goal-setting approach is probably applicable to just about any aspect of life you may want to change or improve (relationships, organization, interpretive dance, whathaveyou). 

Ok people, let's hear it. What's your goal going to be? Best one gets to write a guest blogger post. :)

London Calling

'ello mates! I'm in a British kind of mood today. Not sure if this is due to the gross/rainy weather outside, learning that my long-standing crush Prince "Pretty Cute for a Ginger" Harry is dating someone named Mollie, or the fact that I have entirely too much time on my hands (or all of the above).

Although I don't condone the British devil-may-care attitude regarding important issues such as democracy, orthodontia, or pronounciation of the word 'schedule,' I do enjoy their dry sense of humor, excellent television programs, and ability to drive on the wrong left side of the road. Even their names are entertaining.


"Yes, that's Ulrike Lemmin-Woolfrey. Spelled the usual way, of course."
Source

Plus you have to admit that with those accents they can pretty much say whatever the heck they want and still sound cooler than most Americans, amiright?

Unless I was a Traveller on "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding." Definite dealbreaker.
Source

Cool-sounding though it may be, British English is full of some pretty quirky slang that can make listening to their conversations kind of confusing for us Yanks. I used to be practically fluent in British thanks to homebound schooling, Harry Potter books, and the BBC America channel... but am pretty rusty these days.

Seeing as the Olympics in London are quickly approaching (100 days, people!), I decided it is high time to start brushing up on some "Britishisms" and encourage you all to do the same.  Hopefully with a little practice we'll be able to understand what the heck the Beckhams commentators are saying and enjoy those cheeky Brits this summer (as we cheer for the USA of course).

Source

Remediation began today with reading British news websites-- and even though I was reading the headlines in a British accent (as one does), not a whole lot of it made sense. And by that I mean almost none of it. Don't believe me? See for yourself. Below are a handful of my favourite headlines... let me know if you have a translation/explanation...

 This would probably be more impressive if we understood any of these units.
How much is a Pound (money) in dollars? How much is a kg in pounds (weight)?
Ugh, brain freeze.
Source

Jeez, their SexEd programs are seriously progressive over there...
what's that? Ah. Apparently 'rubber' means 'eraser.' Duly noted.
Source

I say old chap, I do hate when that happens. As does my dustman.
(Ed. note: wtf is a dustman?)
Source



Something something Cute Soccer Player Ronaldo something something
(I got the most important part right at least)
Source

Dwarves and chastity belt party?
Must be a little-known term for "high tea" or something.

But seriously... how much IS a Pound?
And why is everyone so pale if they have beaches there?
So. Many. Questionssss.
Source


And finally:

What the.... whatnow?!  I don't.... I can't even....
This seriously sounds like a drunken Mad Libs game.
Source

Well folks, I tried.

Judging by these headlines and the fact that comprehension of even the most proper British spoken on Downton Abbey often requires closed captions... I'm not sure we'll ever understand these people.  Looks like we're stuck listening to the same boringly American-accented Olympics coverage from Bob Costas again. Bloody hell.