You know how pretty much every movie or sitcom that takes place in an office setting has a water cooler where everyone gathers to gossip?
I thought those were a Hollywood invention, or a thing of the past that no one really uses anymore—sort of like receptionists or phones with those weird shoulder rests.
Turns out I was wrong—my office has a water cooler! Sadly, no one really gathers around it because it is shoved in the supply room next to a massive shredder (kid you not, I thought it was a refrigerator at first).
On our cooler is a sign which states in no uncertain terms that you are expected to replace the big jug when it is empty (the "OR ELSE" is implied).
Being thenervous newbie conscientious citizen that I am, I took that sign to heart the other day when it looked like the jug was empty.
It's probably easiest to just give you my inner monologue of the fiasco that ensued:
Oh crap, the water jug looks empty and there are only about 15 people in the office today... they'll KNOW it was me if I don't replace it.
But I don't know how to do this... can I even lift one of those jugs? I mean I'm pretty strong... I work out! [musical interlude into LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It"]
Once I stopped singing to myself, I decided it would be smart to get the last few drops out of the jug before taking it off and potentially spilling water all over the place (let's be honest, that WOULD happen to me).
Wait, there's still more water in there. Ok probably just one more cupful and it'll be empty/safe to remove.... No? Ok, just ONE more.... nope.... one more try.....
Fast forward to the part where all of a sudden I have EIGHT cups of water sitting on the counter.
Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap... omg what if someone comes in and sees the crazy lady hoarding the water cups?!
Welp, there's nothing left to do except hydrate, destroy the evidence, replace that darn jug and get the heck outta here as quickly as possible.
Have you ever chugged 5-6 glasses of FREEZING cold water in a very short amount of time? I do not recommend it. Pretty sure my esophagus has frostbite now....
As I was approaching the finish line, in walks a very chatty coworker.
Oh geez. Play it cool, Molly. Just slide gracefully in front of the counter and block the cups from sight. Throat is frozen.... just nod... I'm sure he won't notice... omg why is he giving me that weird look? MOVE ALONG, buddy.
Ok he's gone. Whew. Replace jug... check. Wait. Why is it bubbling like that? Is it going to overflow? I better fill up another cup to make sure it doesn't. Maybe one more just to be safe....
Thankfully my sister and co-worker took a couple of glasses off my hands before I exploded... although they seem to be under the impression that my delivering water will now be a regular occurrence...
Welcome to my life.
Also, I'M NEVER DRINKING WATER AGAIN.
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| "Did you SEE the tie he was wearing yesterday?!" Source |
I thought those were a Hollywood invention, or a thing of the past that no one really uses anymore—sort of like receptionists or phones with those weird shoulder rests.
 |
| Shoulder pads and feathered bangs optional. |
Turns out I was wrong—my office has a water cooler! Sadly, no one really gathers around it because it is shoved in the supply room next to a massive shredder (kid you not, I thought it was a refrigerator at first).
On our cooler is a sign which states in no uncertain terms that you are expected to replace the big jug when it is empty (the "OR ELSE" is implied).
Being the
 |
| Big mistake. Huge. Source |
Oh crap, the water jug looks empty and there are only about 15 people in the office today... they'll KNOW it was me if I don't replace it.
But I don't know how to do this... can I even lift one of those jugs? I mean I'm pretty strong... I work out! [musical interlude into LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It"]
 |
| Sorry for party rockin. |
Wait, there's still more water in there. Ok probably just one more cupful and it'll be empty/safe to remove.... No? Ok, just ONE more.... nope.... one more try.....
Fast forward to the part where all of a sudden I have EIGHT cups of water sitting on the counter.
Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap... omg what if someone comes in and sees the crazy lady hoarding the water cups?!
 |
| Nothing to see here, folks. Nothing to seee. Source |
Have you ever chugged 5-6 glasses of FREEZING cold water in a very short amount of time? I do not recommend it. Pretty sure my esophagus has frostbite now....
As I was approaching the finish line, in walks a very chatty coworker.
Oh geez. Play it cool, Molly. Just slide gracefully in front of the counter and block the cups from sight. Throat is frozen.... just nod... I'm sure he won't notice... omg why is he giving me that weird look? MOVE ALONG, buddy.
Ok he's gone. Whew. Replace jug... check. Wait. Why is it bubbling like that? Is it going to overflow? I better fill up another cup to make sure it doesn't. Maybe one more just to be safe....
Thankfully my sister and co-worker took a couple of glasses off my hands before I exploded... although they seem to be under the impression that my delivering water will now be a regular occurrence...
| Coach, not only will I do it for you, I... I... I... yes, yes, I'll do it for you Source |
Welcome to my life.
Also, I'M NEVER DRINKING WATER AGAIN.
They have those phones at my school!!!!
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