Chickity China the Chinese Chicken

Annnnd you now have "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies stuck in your head. Boom.

As I was discussing this blog with my new talent manager/financial representative/boyfriend, I told him that sometimes the hardest part is not the writing itself but finding a topic that is equally entertaining to me and to those of you who read it. Do you really care about my disdain for recycled pop song jingles or our home repair calamities?  What if I don’t have any major [read: embarrassing] life events for a while? What material do I draw from then?? Gah, crisis!

He decided to give me a completely random and vague topic to write about just to get the creative juices flowing.  My challenge? Chopsticks.  Yep. That’s all I have to work with here people, one word (depending on your version of Spell Check).

After approximately 1.5 seconds of scornfully thinking what an obnoxious non-topic he’d given me, I realized Chris is actually quite brilliant for coming up with this. Shame on me for doubting him!

I could....

• Write about chopsticks the eating utensil as an economic opportunity and how they are practically an entire kitsch market on their own. Lightsaber chopsticks, say whaaat?

Every well-balanced meal should include a battle between good and evil.
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• Write about the different techniques used when learning to eat with these tricky little buggers (my personal favorite method is having cousins adopted from Asia who, as toddlers, patiently taught their teenage cousins to use them)

Just to be clear, we're *not* supposed to stick them up our nose? Dang.
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• Write about the obnoxious classic song that practically every piano student learns to pound out over and over and over. You know, that song which despite taking 8 years of piano lessons, I have yet to learn because my mother is a piano snob and would’ve had a heart attack if any of her children dared pound anything—let alone a ‘fake’ song—on her prized piano (even though Wikipedia says it's real! *sigh* if only Wiki existed back then). 12 years later and not bitter about that at allllll, don’t worry.

• Write about the various OTHER uses for these contraptions—hair accessory which can either be an homage to the 1990s Asian-goth movement (Buffy, I'm lookin at you), or a potential cache of hidden weapons (I meannnn, who’s going to frisk you hair?! Besides the TSA, that is).

Katy's stylist for the evening was General Tso.
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The possibilities are endless. So thank you, Christopher for helping jump-start this brain of mine back into business.  You’ll be happy to know that as my manager I am offering an extremely generous 10% cut of the blog’s total revenue. Which happens to be nothing, sooo I'll just give you a hearty handshake the next time I see you. Best girlfriend ever?

Also, now I'm hungry. Dagger.