They Fought the Law and the Law Won

So a few weeks ago I got some mail which was a vast improvement over what normally graces my mail slot (student loan bills and requests for money from my alma maters).

Best. Day. Ever.

Most people's reactions to receiving this Summons typically consist of [according to the Orientation video we watched at the Courthouse today]: anger, frustration, annoyance, and/or attempts to quickly plan an international vacation in order to evade having to serve. 

And judging by the eye rolls nods of agreement from my fellow jurors, the basic cable TV actor in the video described their feelings exactly. Needless to say, I was clearly in the minority for looking like this at 8:15 AM as I anxiously awaited my chance to write a best-selling tell-all book carry out justice and fulfill my civic duty:


Bridesmaid dresses fall under the "Courtroom Appropriate Attire" category, right?

So what does serving jury duty consist of, you ask?

1. Sitting in an uncomfortably quiet room with 60 strangers who would rather be somewhere else
2. Watching a cheesy low-budget orientation video narrated by a judge who is roughly 150 years old
3. Reading Anne of Green Gables on your mom's Nook after the lady you try to befriend shushes you (as if they're going to hold you in Contempt of Court for excessive small talk... sheesh).
4. Daydreaming of how you'll spend the big fat check the county will be mailing you in several weeks. $30 bonus, what whaaaat!

Rinse and repeat this cycle for several hours until being told that all of the cases have been settled before going to trial and you're free to go home.

Wait... WHAT??

This is NOT how it happens on Law & Order
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I know. So rude that they did not even give me a chance to put my hundreds of hours of TV watching research to good use. I'd like a refund, Fairfax County.

This being said, courthouses are fantastic places to people watch... just ask the fellow juror who spent 1.5 hours snoring and talking in his sleep, the person walking into the courthouse smoking and smelling distinctly of a non-cigarette smoke (ahem, use your imagination), or the lady loudly complaining that waiting in the cell phone pick-up line was taking longer than the judge had taken to find her guilty.

Yep. Our justice system at its finest. You stay classy, Fairfax County.

Is it bad that I already can't wait to go back?
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